Venice with your ex

Venice with your ex. It’s as bad as it sounds.

Picture this: you’re stood to the side of the Grand Canal’s choppy water, overlooking the silhouette of delicately crafted architecture, as the sun gently burns out. You are in one of the world’s most romantic cities (apparently) and the whole trip leads to disappointment of expectation. Think along the lines of Bridget Jones, except there is no happy ending with Mr Darcy. But at least you didn’t fall off a boat and into a river.

Let me be more specific. You’re visiting with a person you recently stopped dating after 3 months. They’re messaging the new girl – let me remind you, we are in Venice! And to top it all off, drum roll please… You are staying in the same hotel they previously stayed in with their ex. I’m so glad you feel that I’m selling that once in a life time trip to Italy filled with champagne and strawberry deserts, affectionate kisses on cobble bridges and couple-selfies on that extortionate Gondola ride.

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In the name of The Pretenders, don’t get me wrong, Venice is a beautiful island city that holds a lot of history within it’s architectural character. You will gaze at fine details painted in gold on 50ft high ceilings that will thrust your neck backwards at first glance. It’s almost certain you will experience a trip on the Grand Canal, whether it be herded into a water-bus or reclined in a Gondola that is being motored by the strength of a robust Italian man. If neither options appeal, you can always opt for a middle-class experience of feeding pigeons in the centre of St Mark’s Square while avoiding being shat on. It’s like Flappy Bird, only in Venice and you are the bird avoiding century-old structures.

My milkshake brings all the pigeons to the yard…

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If my neck wasn’t thrusting at the ceiling, then it was elsewhere… into my hands as I realised the situation I found myself in. The moral of the story is kids, don’t plan a trip away months in advance unless you’re both committed and serious. But more importantly as I have realised in recent years, some places are worth saving for a particular time (St Patrick’s in Dublin or Calgary Stampede), or to attend with certain people. Just because you are afraid of losing out, doesn’t mean it’s the right reason to submit yourself to a 50% chance of having a good time. Save it and go 100% out when the time is right – you will thank yourself!

As for Venice, I will be returning one day when I feel the time is right. This ain’t a love song, this is goodbye. For now.

Tags removed for fear of the other’s parents finding out I exist.

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